According to a dictionary, Growth can be defined as an increase in size, number, value or strength. It could also mean development or maturity, though in practice they sometimes appear exclusive, they are supposed to go together. Well, what brought me to this point? The other day, two friends accused me of not being caring, others usually say I am not a nice person amidst other things, so it got me thinking: have I grown? Well at least emotionally? So naturally, I tried to find out the markers for emotional development. It started to dawn on me that rather than having a stunted emotional development, actually I have grown but differently.
What then are some of the markers of emotionally growth or maturity or something Daniel Goleman calls: Emotional IQ. Author Saul, L.J also wrote a fine book called Emotion Maturity, should be a fine read. The Journal, Psychology Today, have an article that I would pick my points from. They are:
a. A mature person is able to keep long-term commitments.
b. A mature person’s decisions are based on character not feelings.
c. A mature person knows how to prioritize others before themselves.
d. A mature person seeks wisdom before acting.
With these four markers I tried to evaluate myself on these four points which I thought were quite crucial. I did relatively well but then I might not be the most objective examiner of myself but however I should at least be honest with myself, because if I can’t be honest with myself, that would not be mature actually and I am back to where I started. I didn’t mention feelings because feelings are supposed to be feedback that should be processed as appropriate and not always as basis for decision making, because, feelings as fleeting. At any rate, that’s my side of things. Over to you, are you emotionally mature?