A. Love is not proud. The definition of proud applicable here is this:
having too high an opinion of oneself. In other words, Love doesn’t
think too highly of itself.
Love for example doesn’t go: “is it because the person of my calibre loves you?”.
No matter the estate of the people involved, love always seeks to balance
Love doesn’t exalt itself above others, it doesn’t relate to the other
person or persons as ‘lucky to have me’, ‘be with me’, ‘know me’ etc
even if seems obvious. Love is not proud, it gives proper recognition
and respect to everyone.
So, is the love in your life or relationship a proud love?
B. Love is not self-seeking: Love is not mindful of, or promoting only
its own interest. Love is not selfish. it is actually quite selfless.
All true forms of love are selfless and sacrificial. Love demands all
but it also gives all. Love doesn’t promote its own agenda to the
detriment of the other parties involved.
Love seeks to invest its resources for the betterment of persons involved.
Love doesn’t use subterfuge or blackmail to get what it wants. It seeks
and brings out the best in people, making them live up to their potential
rather than keep them down.
Love is not easily angered: Love has a very high boiling point that it
rarely ever gets boiled to that point.
In that same way love never gets to do something out of anger, it is
self-controlled. Love doesn’t not use ‘anger issues’ or ‘anger management issues’
as excuses for its outbursts and misbehaviors. Love would seek to
address issues without throwing tantrums and setting the whole place on fire.
It’s not that love will not be pushed to the limit, actually, it will, but
two things usually happen:
1. it increases its boundaries, becomes more accommodating
2. it works through every issue without losing composure
C. Love is not a record keeper of wrongs: Love truly, and always buries
the hatchet, never to bring it up again.
Love doesn’t have a list (mental or otherwise) of various times it had
been let down. It just learns and moves on. It doesn’t hold people ransom
for their past errors but rather makes them accountable for their future decisions.
It treats one wrong as one wrong, not recalling all the other wrongs
it has forgiven.
Love is not a record keeper of wrong. ‘Wait a minute’, you might say,
‘what about the other times he has wronged me?, Am I supposed to just look
away and act as if it never happened and let him continue?’.
Not at all, that is not what we are saying. What we are saying is
this: if you have been wronged before and due apologies and
commitments have been made, any new event should be treated as new
without digging up old issues, then appropriate steps should be taken
to correct and prevent further re-occurrence.
Remember Love doesn’t keep a record of past mistakes but holds people accountable
for further actions.
What do you think? You may air your personal opinion or experience by commenting,
or reach out to me on twitter. I tweet as @ComAbayomi.